The shocking truth about Kefir!!!!

Public service announcement:

I found out some interesting information about Kefir that anybody who consumes it should know. I found this out by personal experience and wanted to make sure that this occurrence is made public so that the next time it happens I will know you will know what is occurring. This is truly a shocking experience that will undoubtedly catch any Kefir drinker unaware.

First, let me set the scene: I am at work getting ready to drink my Kefir smoothie for a snack before lunch. I go to the break room to obtain afore mentioned Kefir from its container in the refrigerator. I proceed to shake it up to get all of the elements thoroughly mixed and re-blended (it has been a couple hours since its original making). The newly re-blended Kefir is then transferred to a Styrofoam cup for quick and easy consumption (some regard is given to the environment but then quickly pushed to the side). The container that the smoothie was originally in is then cleaned and dried so that there is no “funky” smell later on as I am not going to put the empty container back into the fridge to keep it cool and stink-free. I am now free to bring my treat back to my desk and enjoy a little pick-me-up. While I am walking down the hall back to my work station it happened. I was shocked and stunned at the same time. I think that what has just happened may have happened before but I’m not sure…it could be déjà vu. Anyway, the event that I am talking about is the fact that the foam on the top of my smoothie just shocked my upper lip. Kefir can conduct electricity apparently! I don’t know if it was holding the static electricity build up or if I am to blame as we do have carpeting in our office. Just the same, thought, I was shocked…literally! Since the déjà vu thing I have decided to actually document the incident for future reference. You know, in case it happens again. That way I will know that it really did happen before and I won’t be racking my brain wondering if the “shock” triggered a repressed memory or is unlocking a secret portal in my brain to an alternate level of consciousness.

Second, let’s look at what happened and try to come to a conclusion as to why, how and what caused it to happen. Okay…Kefir shock is the issue (not the shock your body goes into during a toxic cleansing but an actual electrical shock). The Kefir smoothie was contained in a plastic lidded container in the refrigerator. The Kefir smoothie was shaken up in the plastic container before being transferred to a Styrofoam cup. Both the plastic container and Styrofoam cup are known to hold static charges on their surfaces. So, did the charge come from the cup or the original container…or even me (from scuffing my feet across the carpet)? But, better yet, why was it held in the foam of the Kefir? Were there maybe a lot of minerals of the metal persuasion in my smoothie? Does milk foam naturally carry a charge? Does pineapple juice carry a charge along with its natural bite?

So many questions. Questions I am not going to answer. At least not right now. If you have any answers or insight, please, let me know. Otherwise, please be very careful when you consume a Kefir smoothie. You probably will want to avoid doing this while pumping gas, around the use of pure oxygen (or any natural gas for that matter) or anywhere where there is a chance that combustion may occur from the slightest of sparks.

This concludes my public service announcement. Thank you.

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